Simt nevoia sa ma plimb in fiecare zi putin prin Bucuresti. Simt nevoia sa inspir suficient aer poluat cat sa-mi ajunga pentru un nou inceput, exact asa cum am avut nevoie de aerul curat de acasa pentru a trai aici.

Vreau sa memorez fetele oamenilor stresati si chinuiti de greutatile vietii cotidiene ca sa pot aspira la mai mult.

Vreau sa memorez fetele oamenilor frumosi si de succes ca sa imi pot seta limitele ambitiilor pana la nivelul realitatii.
 Vreau sa nu uit greutatile prin care am trecut, asta ca sa nu cad in extazul viselor ireale.

Vreau sa ma hranesc in continuare din amintirea zilelor cand ma trezeam goala si fericita, duminica dimineata.

Vreau sa pastrez in cutiute mici esente puternice ale clipelor minunate.

Vreau sa iau cu mine o parte din fiecare om de la care am invatat.

Vreau sa uit de nesimtire si murdarie ca sa ma pot bucura de bun simt si curatenie.

Fuck corporate life!!

In a little while I’ll feel better
Gonna travel around the world
Gonna see it all

Gonna go to Paris, maybe Rome
But I’ll feel better miles away from here,
Gotta figure some things out

So sell all my things, I’m going home
There's nothing to keep me here
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being home,

In a little while I’ll feel better
Gonna spill my heart to every stranger in every town
I'll visit castles in Ireland, have some fellas play the
violin and play a song for me

So sell all my things, I’m going home
There's nothing to keep me here
Just heartache and panic and worries and things that'll bring me down
My head feels much clearer being home

What does a (kind of) single woman do on friday and saturday?

Well. She normally wakes up late, let's say 8:15, at 9 sharp she should be in her office, with coffe on the table, reading emails (that her boss sent at hmm, 12 pm ??)and preparing the new "to do list" for the day. Ok, let's say with a big hurry she managed to do everything just like she should,but then her boss calls" you have 5 minutes, i'm coming for you and take you to another place, hurry!" mm, ok, no coffe for today i guess... You get in the car and go.

Usual things. usual day, you get angry, you shout, you are stressed out for every little studip email, call and so on, but most of the time, and best part of it, it's that you can make your colleagues laugh. She has a few meetings, get's a surprise phone call, shops for books (all related to business and her next big steps in life) than remembers that it's friday so she stops in a nice coffe shop and smokes a cigarette while she's connecting to her blog. Writes a silly post, talks with friends. After a couple of hours she goes home, change her clothes, puts on her sexiest attitude and calls for a cab.

Too much drink, of too many tipe, new people and you realy should be nice. So you ask for another tequila, thinking that would certainly help. After listening some stupid conversation you realize that you don't even want to be there, you are tired and too busy with all those problems of yours to just laugh out loud at every silly thing that some rested brain can tell.
You smile, the lights are just running all over the place, the walls, in your head but your moves remain still perfectly clear and confident, beside the fact that you have high heels and tight dress (i learned that in my teen period, i guess).

You sing, you drink, you dance, you smoke, you smile, you feel the music... you just let yourself go. You attract men and make women talk, but always the wrong one...always. Rihanna- rude boy its your favorite song of the night and you are the favorite dancer, you leave your soul on the dancefloor, just like Madonna does.

You go home in the morning and you sleep all day long, everyone thinks you are sick..well, kind of. eat-sleep-eat-sleep is the password of the day, no calls, no messages, no emails, no talking. You and the bed. You and a book. You and water.

Hard decision!

The time is here! it's now or...maybe never :)

Doamne de cand imi doresc sa va mai plictisesc cu cate ceva. Si stiti ce :D chiar am cu ce. Dar uite ca am prins cateva minute (sper oreeeee) de liniste, intr-o cafenea draguta decorata cu poze black and white Audrey H. si ma voi dedica acestui post. ziceam ceva de decizii....am luat deja una, si din pacate gresita. M-am mutat, cea mai gresita "investitie" daca se poate spune asa, de pana acum. Am acordat incredere unei tipe la fel de tinere care desigur mi-a dat o teapa de cateva sute de euro. Se putea altfel ? Doar ma numesc A.G. So, era vorba despre o casa de vis, un adevarat penthouse new yorkez, care a rezultat a fi o cocina, ma rog, vorba vine. In fine, am aranjat cat de act dupa placul meu dar tot nu ma simt bine, nu ma simt acasa, sincer mi-e dor de "castelul meu francez"...Dar ma gandesc in felul urmator: Dupa fiecare esec fie financiar sau sentimental trebuie sa apara si ceva bun. A si aparut. Deocamdata intr-o forma de plan, dar sunt convinsa ca se va materializa intr-un fel sau altul. Insa acest plan, la randul lui implica alte si alte decizii care la randul lor pot contine alta teapa si tot asa. Dar avand in vedere ca este un plan gandit cu pritenii mei de suflet, sper ca nu va veni tocmai din partea lor, atunci chiar as fi devastata. Continuand subiectul "plan", implica posibilitatea de a ma muta, de a spune Goodbye little New York Hello Hometown. Ohh da...acesta este cea mai grea decizie.

Incerc sa pun pe balanta ce pierd si ce as avea de castigat, insa in aceste situatii niciodata nu ai cum sa calculez totul pana la cel mai mic detaliu. Dupa cum ma cunosc, oricum voi lua o decizie spontana, de pe o zi pe alta, desi mi-am propus ca de data asta am sa fiu mai atenta. Nu pot spune ca am realizari extraordinare aici, nu pot sa spun ca am o casa pe care mi-e greu s-o las in urma, nu pot sa spun ca am oameni foarte apropiati pe care mi-ar fi greu sa-i parasesc (in afara de sora mea!!!), nu pot sa spun ca am un job si o cariera mirobolonta la care ar trebui sa renunt, dar totusi ceva, ceva ma tine un pic. Cea mai draguta minciuna pe care mi-a zis-o cineva in legatura cu asta a fost: "Bucurestiul mai are nevoie de tine:D" dar citind printre randuri de fapt inseamna ca eu mai am nevoi de Bucuresti...Am venit cu un scop, care nu s-a indeplinit in totalitate, dar pe de alta parte, jumatatea scopului s-ar putea finaliza in Cluj, ajutata cu cele invatate aici. Am invatat ca niciodat nu trebuie sa spui NU STIU, mai ales de catre cineva care "se ocupa" de marketing, intotdeauna trebui sa gasesti solutii, macar sa inventezi unele, de data asta ..nu stiu, si punct. Daca timpul de luarea deciziei mi-ar fi mai scurta poate as pleca fara prea multa analiza. Asa fiecare din jurul meu isi da cu parerea, care intr-un fel sau altul ma influenteaza.

In alta ordine de idei as fi vrut sa scriu despre oboseala, despre cat de obosita am ajuns, atat fizic cat si psihic, mai mult psihic, fiind si cel mai grav. Probabil la asta m-ar ajuta clujul, insa as intra in alta combinatie de stres...As scapa de a mai face ce imi spun altii dar as fi stresata de toate deciziile pe care pana acum au luat-o altii in locul meu si va trebuie si le iau singura. Aici ma refer strict la decizii profesionale, de business sa fiu mai explicita si mai mandra :) Nu stiu in ce masura ma avantajeaza linistea din Ardeal dupa ce m-am obisnuit cu stilul nervos bucurestean. Nu stiu cat as rezista fara nesimtirea unora, fara limita tupeului practicata de unii, fara stilul agresiv de vanzari, fara distante uriase, fara traficul infernal si fara DIDI!!!, sora mea.....:(cred ca de fapt la asta se rezuma tot. Este o provocare in orice caz la care voi raspunde intr-un fel sau altul. Poate cineva sa ma asigure ca voi lua decizia corecta si fructuoasa??Probabil unii dintre voi vor spune ca nu sunt in stare nici macar sa iau o decizie..nu?

Puszi, Andrea

Contrast.

VS

To cheer me up.